You know what’s easy?
Giving people advice.
You know what’s easier?
Not taking your own advice.
Yep. Guilty as charged.
Gosh, it’s pathetic how many times I’ve taken pride in giving “good advice”, while I sit there hypocritically worrying about my own future and doubting whether or not God will actually answer my prayers.
It’s so EASY for me to just tell someone else who is struggling to just trust God.
You’ll hear me time and time again saying these words:
Just trust Him. God has a plan. He’s Sovereign. He’s got you covered. Just keep following His will and it will all work together for good in the end.
But yet, as I sit here writing this blog in my last semester of college, the unknown of next year has got me really worked up. I literally have no idea where I’ll be, not to mention what country I will be in, and I am no closer to deciding what I want to do with my life than I was a year ago… I could be doing my masters, or I could go to the Philippines to see my family. I could be working here in the U.S., or I could go teach English overseas for a gap year. I could apply for an internship with Samaritan’s Purse, or I could be on the World Race! So many awesome opportunities, yes. But so frustrating because I can’t decide which one to pick. I feel like I’m all over the place, changing my mind almost daily.
What’s frustrating is the fact I intellectually know that no matter what path I pick, the Lord is going to use it for good – but in my heart I’m worried about choosing the wrong path – Or a path that is “less prestigious” in other people’s eyes.
But of course… that’s the problem right there.
P – R – I – D – E
Oh my precious pride.
My pride is what hinders me from taking my own advice. From fulling trusting God. From fully submitting to His will. And from tuning out the other voices in my head that hinder me from listening to God’s voice.
C. S. Lewis nailed this concept in his book Mere Christianity.
“As long as you are proud you cannot know God. A proud man is always looking down on things and people: and, of course, as long as you are looking down you cannot see something that is above you.”
Pride is the reason I question God’s sovereignty and His plan for my future.
Pride is the reason why I have no problem giving advice to other people while ignoring my own words.
Pride is why I’m struggling to make a decision.
And pride is what’s keeping me from experiencing all that God has in store for me.
Because if I wasn’t proud, I would be able to commit to something and then leave the rest up to Him.
If I wasn’t proud, I wouldn’t actually think that I could mess up God’s plans.
This verse says it all:
Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand. – Proverbs 19:21
So no. I don’t know where I will be after graduation, and I don’t know what I’m ultimately doing with my life.
But I’ve finally accepted the fact that it’s OKAY.
Because I know that God truly IS in control and his purpose WILL stand – despite all my flaws and failures.
He has demonstrated that to me time and time again, yet I still doubt Him.
But it’s finally time for me to take my own advice and TRUST GOD.
My future is safe in His hands.
– Hannah Myers