The Day I Stopped Asking God For “Clarity”

I needed to read this blog so badly. If you’re struggling with what direction to take in your life, I highly recommend this! ūüôā

Mandy Black

I held my tongue as I listened. It seemed like ages that I waited and then…. nothing came. I stared longer over the cliff, and down at the ocean waves, across the deep, dark, ever-stretching expanse of water. An expanse that has always intrigued me since the first day I dipped my toes into it….Since the first time I walked beside it under the moonlight listening to the waves and thinking about the God who made them.

But here I am 10 years later sitting above the same expanse wondering why the God who made it in all of its enormity couldn’t give me, His beloved daughter, the direction and answers that I feel like I need in one of the most pivotal seasons of my life. If He cares why doesn’t He give me clear direction and certainty? I continued to pray and alternate my words with silence, listening…

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Trusting God in my Singleness

holy


So, I’m 20.

I’m a junior in college.
And I’m single.

Pshhh, I’m SO young. What’s the big deal, right?
Well that’s what I’m saying. Agh, but I forgot to tell you. I go to Liberty University.

Yes, if you haven’t heard of it.. it’s the world’s largest Christian University.
It seems like every where you turn people are getting in relationships or getting engaged!
Our joke is to have a¬†“Ring by Spring”¬†lol. But honestly..¬†it’s not a joke.¬†It’s reality here.

So, I have people frequently ask me if I have a boyfriend or if I’m ‘talking’ to someone.
When I say “no”, a lot of people can’t understand why I haven’t seriously dated anyone by now‚Ķ?¬†I mean, come on. A university of 10,000+ Christians?… there’s gotta be someone for me here,¬†right?!

Well yes, maybe there is. But timing is everything.
Dating the right person at the wrong time will still end in heartbreak.
So, is the timing actually right for me to be in a relationship while in college?
That is the question.

Here’s how I see it..I just can’t do it all. I’m too busy! We only have so much time in a day.
I can’t grow in my relationship with Christ, do well in school, be involved with ministry, keep up with friends, play/coach soccer, eat, sleep AND have a boyfriend at the same time. Something important in my life would have to give.
Relationships take up a LOT of time.

And another thing is, I don’t know the future.
What if I went through my whole college career dating some guy and we end up breaking up?
How devastating would that be? My precious college years, wasted.. on a guy… when I could’ve been making lifelong friendships.¬†I’ve seen this happen too many times already.

Yes, we do have to take chances in life.. I’m not saying we should put up an emotional wall because of fear. I’m just saying, relationships shouldn’t be a nonchalant game like our society portrays. They should be carefully considered.

See, our society has forgotten that dating was meant for those considering¬†marriage. It’s not¬†supposed¬†to be a game.¬†We forget that people’s hearts are on the line. You give a piece of your heart away to every person you’re involved with that you can¬†never¬†get back.

So, since I have no plans to get married any time soon, why would I seriously date anyone?
And as a Christian, I do take God’s commands about sexual purity very seriously.
Having a boyfriend though would only put myself in sexual temptation.

What, am I supposed to just date someone for… 5 years? And not want to be sexually intimate? Ha, yeah right. Not possible,¬†for me at least‚Ķ I know people though who have dated throughout the years and have kept their purity. I have mad respect for them. But¬†that’s¬†why Liberty students get engaged so early. They’re either getting engaged during school or right after they graduate because you can only date for so long without being sexually intimate!¬†Let’s face it. God created us to desire sexual intimacy with the person we love. It’s no secret.¬†Within the context of marriage.. sex is a beautiful creation from God
and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it!

But there’s just no way that I want to be tied down by marriage any time soon.
I have too much life to live, too many things I want to accomplish before I settle down.
And yes, though I do get lonely sometimes and occasionally think I could handle having a boyfriend.. reality kicks in and God says,¬†“WAIT, the timing isn’t right yet.”

Now, I’m not saying I don’t go on dates. There’s a big difference.
I think that it’s perfectly fine to figure out what you’re looking for in a significant other by going on casual dates.¬†But committing myself to an exclusive relationship right now wouldn’t be my wisest decision.

“Do not awaken or excite love until it is ready” – Song of Solomon 2:7

So am I ready? Definitely not.
However, it’s taken me¬†this¬†long to realize that.
I used to think I was ready. But God has been showing me so many things that I need
to work on before I get into any sort of relationship.

My goal is to be a blessing to my future boyfriend, whether we end up married or not.
I want to be an encouragement to whoever God places in my life, not a burden.
I don’t want to bring personal baggage from my past into a relationship that I haven’t tried to work through on my own. No matter who it is,¬†I want to push that¬†person closer to the foot of the Cross.

So, I’ve realized that for me personally, these precious college years are for healing and growing closer to the Lord. This time in my life is to figure out who I am and what God is calling me to do in the future. All I know is that God is doing a work in me that I can’t fully understand right now.¬†I wouldn’t be where I am today spiritually if I continued going down¬†the same path of dating guy after guy like I did in high school.

I’ve¬†finally¬†learned to be content in whatever season the Lord has me in.
If I’m single, GREAT. If I eventually get in a relationship, GREAT.
I know that where ever God has me is exactly where I need to be.

So despite the pressures all around me..
I’m finally at peace with trusting God’s timing and allowing him to write my love story.

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he WILL make straight your paths. РProverbs 3:5-6

————————————————————————————————————————————-Disclaimer: In no way am I implying that all Christians who are dating in college are out of “God’s Will”.. this blog is about what God has been personally showing me. God’s timing in every person’s life is different. This post was written to hopefully help others seek God’s perfect timing in their own lives.

-Hannah Myers
Twitter/Insta: @hannahmyers10